Punk with a Hummer Run.

[Desert Dog]

Hey guys, I got called out to an "off-road challenge" by some punk kid in a new H2. Its got a lift, 35s, rear locker, and mall-crawler tube steps that hang way below the rocker panels. Experience, well lets just conclude that he has probably never rock crawled before. Pretty much one of those little punk know-it-alls.

He claims Jeeps, especially JKs, are crap and can't off road anywhere without getting stuck or breaking. I started laughing at him and pointing out that his Chevy Avalanche with a $50,000 SUV body on it is crap, and that they break down on difficult trails more than they finish them. This really pissed him off, so he called me out to a challenge next Sunday - the trail of my choice. I have to pay him $100 is he makes it through the trail without breaking down or being pulled and he will pay me $200 if he doesn't, so I have to pick something hard. No joke, he is serious, as we have laid down money with a 3rd party. It has to be within a couple hours drive and we each get to pick our own spotter. I would like to split my winnings with Henry if he is willing to spot

I will definately take him through the rocks, as H2 axles break like toothpics in them and have 00 articulation. The problem is, If I take him through places like Calico gatekeeper or the difficult part of BC109 area, it could take days to get that POS out of there when it breaks. I was thinking that the rock climb and sluice box at Hungry valley might be better because when his POS breaks he can cell phone a tow truck from the camp ground, and its an easy place to pull him out when he gets stuck. And, my jeep can easily do those obstacles. What do you guys think?

I plan to make a classic youtube video out of it.

[JeremyJones]

lol this is awesome, sounds like a scene out of a cheesy movie lol. like tokyo drift but only offroading. anyway i wanna go and watch him break down so i can be apart of the humbling. id say pick the hardest one. you didnt agree to tow him out right? who cares? hell forget the two hundred and leave kiss cocky out there haha

[sandbuggy]

Hey desert dog make sure the punk has permission to go out play with the bigdogs
and you need to start him off on easy stuff like going off a curb ....how much have you told him you will charge for pulling his crap out on top of the 200 ,i hope its enough for pizza for all us

[rcxj92]

[color=#FFBF40]I'd like to see him go through Odessa canyon if your mirrors had inches can only imagine the body damage he would get if he has the balls to go through it. [color=#FFBF40][/color][/color]

[TheBigDogg]

[color=#00FF00]I say BC109, then get your $$ and leave him there!!![/color]

[casaintsfan]

[quote="TheBigDogg"][color=#00FF00]I say BC109, then get your $$ and leave him there!!![/color][/quote]


he said the money is already collected by a third party, part of the challenge is if the guy breaks or has to be pulled out that Chris wins the money. as far as leaving him out there we (infectious off road) don't do that, but i'm all for pretending to leave him out there and stop for lunch or a snack and go back and see if there is any way to get him out.
don't get me wrong i love a good hummer just as much as the next guy but these HUMMER guys gotta realize there is no way in heck a HUMMER can out wheel a jeep.

i hope i can make it to this event and i hope the guy invites more HUMMERS to be laughed at.

[Desert Dog]

Larry gave me an "H2 recovery team" sticker. As part of the video, Im going to show me putting that sticker on my jeep after I pull him out.

[casaintsfan]

[quote="desert dog"]Larry gave me an "H2 recovery team" sticker. As part of the video, Im going to show me putting that sticker on my jeep after I pull him out. [/quote]




you come up with a title for the video?
how about music?

i better be able to make this, i'll be pissed if i don't!

[Bert338]

You don't have to run it? Just him?

[Desert Dog]

[quote="Bert338"]You don't have to run it? Just him? [/quote]

I have to run it first, then he has to complete it as far as I do.

For the trails I mentioned, getting him to break his rig will be very easy; it is the recovery that will be a biatch! have you ever seen an IFS rig (especially an H2) break a front axle? The front tire almost lays flat on the ground or piviots foward and you can't really tow the vehicle. Trail Repair on an rig like that is out of the scope of my tool box. And like Larry said, I don't leave anyone dead on the trail, not even an asshole punk like this kid. I'm thinking I am probably going to go the BC109 area route - Snaggletooth canyon, lots of 2.5'+ rocks to go over and lots of squeezes. This will break the H2 pretty easily, but It won't be too difficult to get the rig up on Dome Springs Road where he can arrange a tow-truck to pick him up. And his Mall-poser, Metal Mulisha wannabe friends can drive him home and give him a shoulder to cry on after I rub it in as to what an overpriced POS his H2 is and brag about how many youtube hits the vid will get.

So I will have the "money holder" call the H2 punk and set up a Sunday run at BC109.

[Bert338]

Sounds like BC109, I might have to try and get there to see this.

[TheBigDogg]

Hurry and post the date Chris!!!

[sandbuggy]

he'll be crying !!!! that you can't take him on narrow trails that was part of the deal !!

I know you 'll post up the sunday that you are doing this, I just hope isn't this Sunday so i can go

i got carried away with the smiles ..........................

[TheBigDogg]

lol


me too

[Professor JK]

Chris did you tell him you know a guy with a fj thats good at towing hummers

[rcxj92]

for the guy with the hummer......
http://m.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&client ... qTA&rl=yes

[rcxj92]

how about this one
http://m.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&client ... 25e-rS4N8U

[Desert Dog]

OK, the "showdown" is set. The offroading Maga-event of Kern County

We will run BC109 on Sunday 4-25-10. We will meet at the flying J at 10:00am. hopefully the off-road battle royal will start by 11:00 so I can be airing back up at about 11:05

Cant wait to watch this happen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8Etx7W1GpY

[abendx]

[quote="desert dog"]OK, the "showdown" is set. The offroading Maga-event of Kern County

We will run BC109 on Sunday 4-25-10. We will meet at the flying J at 10:00am. hopefully the off-road battle royal will start by 11:00 so I can be airing back up at about 11:05

Cant wait to watch this happen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8Etx7W1GpY[/quote]

Can I come and watch?

I am betting on the H2.... your RockJocks have nothing on that bad ass Metal Mulisha sponsored rig.

Meet you guys at the air down spot at 1030a.

[Dirty LJ]

I am so going to try and make this!!!!!

If I can ride my motorcycle out can I bum a ride off some one at the Flying J?

[TheBigDogg]

It is on like Donky Kong!!!


The Mall Crawlers are leaving the parking lot!!!!

[JeremyJones]

where is the hard part on the bc109?? they day i went did we bypass the hard parts?

[casaintsfan]

[quote="JeremyJones"]where is the hard part on the bc109?? they day i went did we bypass the hard parts?[/quote]


it's a HUMMER, he's gonna get stuck airing down

[Desert Dog]

[quote="JeremyJones"]where is the hard part on the bc109?? they day i went did we bypass the hard parts?[/quote]

Your Jeep started making grinding noises when we started on that part, so we turned back.

[Mickey]

Now this sounds like a blast... You can count me in for sure... Oh and no need to pay me anything for spoting... the pleasure alone is worth it! Just make sure you his ass...! lol


But i got money that says he backs out.... or says no narrow trails that will scratch his truck... May end up having to just take his ass up the rock garden ... lol